peregriNation: Anticipation Africa

   Leaving Costa Rica was bittersweet. I was excited to move on to the next phase of my journey, but I had fallen in love with the country of CR. I felt good about accomplishing my goals during my stay there, immersing in the culture, learning spanish, living on my own in a developing country, starting a blog, and getting certified to teach English as a second language. The time flew by quickly!
   I stopped over in the United States for a month to say good-bye to family and friends. It was a whirlwind tour on the continent, couch surfing along the way, enjoying time with my loved ones, and eating everything in site. (I'm going to be starving in Africa, right?) I checked my storage locker to find my recliner still in the front section near the door where my sons had placed it, just in case I ever needed a place to sleep. It's my tiny piece of real estate on the planet, and it gives me a strange sort of comfort to think of it as home. I checked in with my CPA, my broker, and my estate planning lawyer. I went to visit my doctor one last time and we went over the list of immunizations I had gotten last spring; Typhoid, Hep A, Hep B, Tetanus, Rabies, Malaria pills, and the biggie that gets me into the country, Yellow Fever. She gave me a flu shot, wrote me a script for Cipro, just in case... and cleared me to go. I shut down my Iphone (really painful I might add), and made plans for my car to be sold. My monthly bills would consist of 1) health insurance, 2) storage locker, that's it. I am completely untethered from trappings. It's liberating, exciting, and scary all at the same time.
   My parents were amazed at the items I had laid out all over the floor of their spare bedroom; a mosquito net, water purifying tablets, toilet paper, my asthma medicines which filled half a bag, and two knee-length skirts for modesty at work, which I did not own and had to purchase. My father shook his head with fear at the thought that all I would have with me for the next two years, could fit into two bags.
   My biggest concern at the moment was how to survive the 16 hour leg of my flight from the Dulles airport to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Armed with reading material and a fully charged ipod loaded with new music, I entered the airport and went straight to first store I found to buy one of those circular neck pillows. I would like to take this moment to personally apologize to those pillow owners all over the world for whom I smirked at, in airports, before this day. Those pillows are the most comfortable things ever and it saved me on that long, long flight! I get it now. I'm a believer, and I am sorry. Ethiopian Airlines gave me a packet when I sat down on my seat. It was full with a blanket, ear plugs, an eye cover, a pair of long socks, and a disposable toothbrush. I felt so taken care of.
   With all the preparations finally behind me, I settled in comfortably. Before long the gravity of my situation rose up in my mind, and I began to feel anxious. When I was in Costa Rica, my purpose was to decompress and attain certain goals. In Africa I am looking for a new purpose in life. Before now, my main focus in life was to be a good wife and mother, and I feel very accomplished in those areas. But now both of those are over. So who am I now? If I strip it all away, what will I find? For all of my adult life my decisions have always included the welfare and concerns of others, my children and my husband. What will determine that now? What will my voice sound like when it is my own? A sudden lack of self confidence, and by that I mean panic, welled up in my heart. Twenty-six hours later I landed in Tanzania, Africa.